The Word Alive
by Starlit Hero
Summary: It's been a year since then, and Antonio is barely coping. He's locked himself indoors only getting up to answer the door, but Feliks and Toris hope to change this. Feliks and Toris aren't alone, they receive the help of the deceased, Lovino. Can hey help Antonio out of his sadness or will another name be added to the name of ex-nations. Sequel to 'Stop Waving The Red Flag'.


**Hey guys, so look, I updated my wonderful world of SWTRF. Hope you like it ^.^**

**Warning: Antonio and Feliks are a little OC (but Antonio is depressed and Feliks is pissed), self harm, Lovino death**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia!**

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**Summary:**

It's been a year since then, and Antonio is barely coping. He's locked himself indoors only getting up to answer the door, but Feliks and Toris hope to change this. Feliks and Toris aren't alone, they receive the help of the deceased, Lovino. Can hey help Antonio out of his sadness or will another name be added to the name of ex-nations. Sequel to 'Stop Waving The Red Flag'. Rated T for angst and swearing.

**~In the sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to eternal life.~**

**Chapter 1:**

_'How long has it been now? How long has it been since... since you left me? I miss you. Lovino, please come home,'_ Antonio thought to himself, as he sat staring at his mahogany door, insecurely cradling his knees. _'Ah, who am I kidding? You're gone, aren't you?'  
_Tears fell from his eyes to only hit his knees. Not even his tears could escape him. He balanced his head on his knees, and let the painfully sad weeps sound freely.  
"Please... just come home." Antonio rasped between his cries of pain, clutching his legs with a grip like that of a bald eagle.  
Antonio sat in his dimly lit hallway for a minimum of three hours. He sat crying until his eyes had dried out, to the point that they were scared to generate more water just to lose it.

After he dried up the last of his tears, he looked down to the underneath of his left forearms. A pained sigh escaped his mouth, as he stared at the plethora of recently healed scars on his arms.  
_'The saddest people always seem the happiest... but I never thought I'd do... **this** to myself.'_ Antonio ran a finger down his present forearm, wincing a little as his finger rose as it ran over the scars. _'I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry I'm so weak.'  
_Antonio turned his head to look at a draw - that hung on a table next to him - he lifted himself up, and trudged - as though in a trance - towards the draw. When he was stood in front of the drawer, he sighed and opened it slowly, a small nostalgic smile snuck on to his face as he saw a blue box with stains of dried blood on it.  
"Just one more time... I'll get help soon... won't I?" Antonio cradled the box as he trudged back to his spot in front of the mahogany door.  
He pulled the lid off the box impatiently, and grabbed one of the many blood covered blades in the delicate blue box. He lacked the ability to cry anymore, but if he could he would of let the tears fall. He winced slightly as he slashed at his left wrist, the blood seeped out from the slit instantly. Normally, he'd be crying while doing this and he'd take refuge in the pain as his salty tears stung his fresh cuts. Nevertheless, he continued to slash at his arm until he had filled it with fresh cuts, he then thought about_ decorating_ his right arm too, but a sudden burst of dizziness hit him. He put the blade back, with its friends, in its box and placed the lid back on the box. He didn't even try to stand, he just laid down where he was, hugged the blue box - filled with blades - and slept. He just slept in the hallway, he didn't care if he got sick or if his cuts got infected. He just slept.

**~Like, are you really giving up~**

Lovino had never believed in spirits or ghosts, but now he didn't really have a choice. He had to sit and watch as Antonio destroyed himself, whether it be emotionally or physically. He was getting sick of seeing the scars multiply or return on his loves arms, last night was the last straw. After Antonio had fallen asleep Lovino left for the only people he knew could make anyone feel better no matter the circumstances, well actually they were fully booked and didn't even bat an eyelid in Lovion's general direction. So he was left with Feliks and Toris.  
_'This can only go well... right?'_ Lovino thought as he watched Antonio sleeping in a pool of his own deep red blood. _'I'm starting to regret going to them.'_  
Lovino used to receive comfort from seeing the Spaniard sleeping next to him, but now all he felt was worry. A loud knock bought Lovino out of his worry about the Spaniard for a second and replacing it with some-sort of comfort.  
"Like, Toni, open the hell up!" A polish accent sounded from behind a mahogany barrier, the impatient voice woke the Spaniard enough for him to shove his blue box in the drawer.  
"Sí, I'm coming!" Antonio called back, in a voice that was only half there, he then threw a red jumper on that rested on one of his banisters.  
"Like, hurry up!" The voice sounded more impatient then before.

Antonio walked towards the door, and pulled the red jumper over his arms and hoped hey wouldn't notice the pool of blood in the floor. He opened the door slowly to see Feliks and Toris, he then pulled it so they could see his face.  
"Hola mi amigos, what's wrong?" Antonio wasn't surprised that his voice was so raspy, he was however surprised by the look of horror on the pair's faces.  
"Toni, like, you're covered in blood." Feliks lifted his hand and touched he blood that had dried on Antonio's right cheek, Antonio's face fell to look at the floor.  
"Oh, um... I'm fine." Antonio faked a smile that gained a pout from the feisty Pole.  
"Don't lie to me." Feliks put his hand on his hips. "We're coming in."  
"N-no need, mi amigos!" Antonio lifted his hands up in denial, the sleeves on his jumper fell showing the top of one of the scars on Antonio's arm, Feliks' face became sullen.  
"We're coming in, Antonio." Feliks sounded different when he had no hint of joking, Antonio lowered his head and let the duo in. "Anto..." Feliks trailed off in shock when he saw the blood in the hallway, the hallway was being watched at all times.  
"I-I'm sorry." Antonio apologised lowering his head, as Feliks turned to look at Antonio. "I-I just..."  
"Where are they?" Feliks still had a serious tone to his voice.  
"I-I don't know wh-" Antonio was interrupted by Feliks.  
"The blades. Where are they?" Feliks' voice had turned even more sullen, as if on cue a drawer flung open.  
"I-..." Antonio looked at the open drawer and sighed, Feliks walked over to the drawer and saw the blue box that was dyed in the colour of blood.  
"I promise it's gonna be okay." Toris smiled at Antonio. "I'll just clean-up the hallway." The storage cupboard door opened and Toris walked over to it and pulled out bleach and a broom.  
"Toni." A voice echoed in through the hallway, Antonio looked around for the source, but to no avail.  
"L-Lovi?" Tears once again returned to Antonio's eyes, and Feliks had thrown his arms around Antonio before h could think of running away.  
"I'll, like, explain everything." The Pole's voice had become more comforting, or maybe it was just the company itself.  
Feliks brought Antonio to his living room, grabbed bandages and treated Antonio's arms, all the while singing a soothing Polish lullaby. Anonio fell asleep not to long after he started to sing his lullaby.

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**So this is chapter one of 'The Word Alive'** **I hope you like it! Let me know what you think by leaving a review. Remember to drop a follow or a favourite to be notified when I update. Don't forget to become one with... Mother Sealand :3**

**-StarlitHero**


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